A Cat We Called Muff

When we first married our life was so hard
we lived on stale bread and a scraping of lard
in a small scruffy house next to Pentonville Prison
with a cat we called Muff, and a dog we called Jism

The dog would jump up at the back door and cry
We’d release the small catch and we’d watch Jism fly
He’d hump the poor postman who’d run for his life
he’d Roger the neighbour and cling to his wife

He had dustbin lids, brushes, a fox and a mouse
his wet tongue would often sneak into my mouth
and our lop eared rabbit was always on guard
When he saw Ernest’s Jizz running over the yard

And then came a day it was one we had feared
It was quiet in the yard and he’d just disappeared
Ernest tried not to worry, his Jism was tough
and a lot of our time was now taken with Muff

Many months past, it was quite a bit later
I was stroking my Muff and was reading the paper
enjoying a cup of my favourite PG
when I saw Jism was plastered all over page three

He’d dug a deep tunnel, his chance had arisen
He’d now found a new home, at Pentonville Prison
with plenty of owners who now held him tight
no chance of them letting him out of their sight

I sobbed to my Ernest “It’s terribly hard
I still miss seeing Jism all over our yard”
“Don’t worry My Dear” Ernest’s voice sounded gruff
They might have my Jizz, they’re not getting your Muff”

© Jan Jack 2007

Admirers   A visit to the zoo  I wish things were different  When I was a girl  A cat we called muff