Strapped for cash
I quite like to dress as a German,
I’ve just been along to a party
But now it is time for ze punishment, For all you Red Hatters....
I wish I had a willy; it really isn’t fair,
ŠJan Jack 2007
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I’m really not good in my kitchen, ŠJan Jack 2007
Its true what they say, yes, I’ve married quite well
ŠJan Jack 2007
I’m known by a few as Mad Max,
I like nothing more than to lower my drawers,
And submit to a few hefty whacks,
Had such a good time and got lashed,
Believe me it’s nice, being inspected for lice,
With girls who are all strapped for cash.
My world is now lonely and barren,
I’m thinking things through; I don’t know what to do,
Perhaps apply for a job with McLaren?
I wish I had a willy!
I’d love to have a willy; just one, don’t need a pair,
When time to do my chores each day, then out the thing would flop,
I could drag it round the kitchen floor and use it as a mop.
I could stick it on the worktop, watch it snake and weave and bend,
It could pick up all my cake crumbs, if I used the sticky end,
I could pop it down the toilet pan, and use it as a brush,
I’d be very thorough round the rim, and then I’d squirt and flush.
Kitchen Capers
There’s a sticky charred mess on my hob,
I’ve just found two flies in my Chocolate Surprise,
And I can’t keep my corn on its cob.
Memories
But in years gone by I’ve been heck of a girl
I’ve had sex in a Vauxhall, sex in a Hearse,
Once going forwards and twice in reverse.Naughty Poetry
Bespoke / Corporate Poetry
General Poetry
